Sometimes leaving so much unsaid is the only way it can be. This is never a pleasant feeling, and the uneasiness manifests and trickles down like molten lava into every facet of your life. This has been my last month to two months.
I have several friends who I envy. I envy their strong will, and their strong minds. I am not that woman. I’m strong, just in a different way. I’m tenacious, persistent, and passionate. This has served me well in success of my endeavors over the years but wreaked havoc on my personal relationships.
In the last 2 months I have had to say goodbye to family who have left behind a lot of unsaid things and to 2 personal relationships, one in which I said the goodbye and the other I drove away. All three hurt in different ways. There really are 3 different ways to tear the same piece of paper.
Through these times we learn, we adjust and I wing it with a bible and faith. There are those whom you won’t understand and those whom will not understand you. I belive that things are never irreparable but not everyone subscribes to this mindset.
Running has been my therapy to keep me from crying myself to sleep. My children have been my comfort to affirm that I am a good person and underserving of the unkind words on my character. Work has been the security of a place where I feel needed and at the same time, feeds my soul and keeps me laughing.
We all have our frailties, if you’re reading this…be kind. People are not disposable. Mistakes are redeemable, and try to not let things go unsaid for you truly don’t know when your last breath will be and you may be robbing yourself the opportunity to make amends every day.
Love and light,